How should I discuss a colleague’s behavior with my manager when it makes me uncomfortable?

Feeling ongoing discomfort around a colleague’s behavior and not knowing how to raise it without unfair assumptions is a hard place to be. You can care about fairness and still need support. The most constructive approach is usually to report what you have observed, not what you think is going on inside the other person.

Prepare a short, factual account before you talk with your manager. Note specific incidents: what was said or done, when and where it happened, who was present if anyone, and how it affected your ability to work or feel safe. Stick to behavior and impact. Avoid labeling the person with a mental-health condition, guessing at a diagnosis, or explaining their motives. Under federal disability law, harassment based on disability—including mental health—is unlawful, and people are also protected when others treat them as if they have a disability. Speculating about a mental illness in a report can create unfair impressions and is not necessary for your employer to understand the problem.

When you meet your manager, frame the conversation as a request for help stopping specific conduct, not as a character judgment. For example, you might describe repeated interruptions, comments that leave you uneasy, or boundary-crossing that continues after you asked for it to stop. If your workplace has an anti-harassment policy, follow its reporting steps, including any alternate contacts such as another supervisor or human resources. If there is no clear policy, you can still describe the behavior to your manager, the colleague’s manager, or another supervisor and ask for support in addressing it. Raising a good-faith concern about harassment or discrimination is generally protected activity, and retaliation for that kind of report is illegal.

After you report, keep a private record of what you said, when, and any follow-up. If the conduct is severe or based on a protected characteristic and internal steps do not resolve it, filing a charge with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is a separate option; deadlines are often 180 days from the incident and can be longer where state or local law applies, with different rules for federal employees. This is general information, not legal advice—if you need guidance on your specific facts, consider consulting a qualified employment attorney or your state civil rights agency. Focusing on observable behavior, workplace impact, and your employer’s process gives your manager something actionable while keeping the conversation free of mental-health assumptions.