How to address a senior colleague who frequently leaves out important context?
The Question
I recently joined a new team, and a more experienced colleague often makes decisions and shares updates without including me. When I ask for background information, their explanations are brief and lack the details I need to complete my tasks. Rather than escalating the issue, I want to build a better working relationship with them. How can I approach this person constructively to improve our communication without making them defensive?
Answer
It is understandable to feel frustrated when you are expected to complete work without the context you need. Since you want to strengthen the relationship, begin by assuming the information gap may come from different communication habits, time pressure, or an unclear understanding of what your role requires. That lets you address the practical problem without suggesting that your colleague is intentionally excluding you.
Ask for a short private conversation at a calm time, rather than raising the issue immediately after a difficult exchange. Use a specific, neutral example and connect it to the work: “When I received the update about the project change, I understood the decision but not the assumptions behind it. I had to pause my task to reconstruct the background. Could we agree on what context should be included when changes affect my work?” Be precise about what would help, such as the decision’s purpose, relevant constraints, prior discussions, dependencies, and your expected next step. A concrete request is usually easier to act on than a broad request for better communication.
You can also reduce the burden on your colleague by proposing a simple routine. For example, send a brief written recap after conversations: “My understanding is that we decided X because of Y, and I will do Z by Friday. Please correct anything I missed.” For recurring work, suggest a shared decision log, project note, or brief weekly check-in. Ask which method is easiest for them, since the best approach depends on the person and the team’s workflow.
Give the new approach a little time, then assess whether you are receiving enough information to perform your responsibilities. If the problem continues, frame a conversation with your manager around process and task clarity rather than blame. Bring a few specific examples, explain the impact on deadlines or quality, and ask for clearer communication expectations across the team.